In 1998, year 9 in a job I was burning out on… I started to think about how I really wanted to live and work. In my mind, I saw a mountain with water, buildings powered by the sun, a central meeting space for people to gather, gardens, stone walls, a flow of people coming together for healing and peace, living close to the land, being caretakers of this pocket of space here on earth. The vision kept unfolding and I began to really listen. I invited different people to join me in the venture. No one committed. Person after person faded. It became apparent it was for me to do and the rest would unfold. I was ready to answer the calling.
I took business courses, developed a brochure and a business card. A friend showed up and built the first website for free. I got my Maine Guides and Ski Patrol license so I could take people into the wilderness and have winter work that utilized my current base of knowledge in sports medicine and emergency care as well as my love for skiing. I devoured a variety of texts, I started meditating, studying plants and birds, all resulting in an expansion of my understanding and knowledge of life. While leading my first holistic canoe trip for women, I got to witness transformation first hand. That experience guided me to the core of what was being created, a space of healing. I offered everything I knew at the time. Nature and heart did the rest.
I led retreats for 7 years without a base… with the container simply being a canoe, the shore, the island, the camp fire circle, the sunset, under the full moon, in the rain and the sun. It was time for a base now. I sold my house to buy the land. It was the land I envisioned 7 years previous, a mountain with water and stone walls, spectacular views, and a space for building. Nurture Through Nature was truly taking its form and ready to be built.
A barn raising happened… Carpenter angel shows up named Bob Dunning. He teaches volunteers the art of orchestrating a barn raising. Ten hands-on weekends later, the retreat space was closed in, made with wood from the land and volunteer hands and hearts. Even the logger, who had cleared space for building and the solar panels, asked the birds to move from the trees before felling them. I spent a lot of that fall (2003) in tears of gratitude. I knew and I think everyone else knew that what we were working on was bigger than our little selves. It would evolve with time. NTN grew as requests showed up at the door. The vision was manifesting. My passion was exploding and apparently it was contagious as retreaters kept returning and support kept showing up. Donations, hands, hearts kept everything afloat. NTN was still not generating enough income to support a living wage. So, I worked part time jobs along way, gradually releasing old identities and hats, former skills, and made progressive leaps to leave the past life behind. I mentally gave it 7 years for NTN to be a viable business.
On year 7, “the fleet was complete”… with 7 canoes and enough gear to take out 14 travelers into the wilderness. It felt like full circle. A frequent retreater lent me money to buy the first cabin, Harmony. A grant then paid for ½ of the materials for the second cabin, Robin’s Nest. A women’s carpentry workshop, “Zen and the Art of Carpentry” helped a bunch with it’s construction.
Each group that came here to retreat purchased, unbeknownst to them, beds, mattresses, a door, chairs, a woodstove, on and on, all for comforts, shelter, and service. It had all come together, now in the most beautiful, green, natural setting I had thought it could be. Without all of the love and support of so many people NTN would not have been born.
Year eight, circles of infinity… Raja shows up from California for a 5 month solo stay in Harmony with her dog Mo. She falls in love with the place and I watch, in support, as she opens a donation~based yoga studio here at NTN. We run the business together and it expands beautifully. Local community happens and a chosen family is born. In the midst of that, we build a special healing space on the land, our circle shaped sauna steam bath that holds 18 people. The project began late summer and was completed 10 minutes before its opening, Winter Solstice of 2009. More people came, seeking the healing arts, change happens.
Year Nine on the mountain was another remarkable year… A deep and profound question kept arising…”what to do with the people’s poo…what to do with the doo…” Two swanky composting toilets were brought into play in full style. The Common Throne and The Vortex look like mini theaters for some reason. We could practically rent them as solo cabins they are so beauteous! Poo happens; so, we say, “go in style” :).
I do think it is an important question worth pondering; what do we do with our doo on the large scale? We tend to pee and poo in our drinking water, if you notice. The water in the typical toilet is potable. With the demands placed on water and how we are all drawing from the same well, I just couldn’t go down that road.
We compost our guests contribution and from that flowers and trees are grown. My house plants are very happy.
Raising a yurt was on the list for a while… Yurts are such unique structures, such a cradling container for a personal retreat. We found the sweetest location for our 20′ “Mountain Brook Yurt” to live, tucked into the forest overlooking the brook, surrounded by the sights and sounds of nature at her best. All the building materials and supplies were carried in by hand as there is no road access. has been home for those coming for holistic coaching immersions for deep healing and transformation. Also solo travelers and couples have loved the space. This space seems to be nothing short of sacred.
All the big stuff has been seen through to its fruition… What a labor of love it has been. We are readying for groups to lead their own retreat here or individuals to come here for their own healing work and eco-getaway. There are beautiful trails, healing spaces, renovations to the meeting house with a full kitchen, thoughtful finish work, and an office studio in the back for staff and guests that includes wireless internet. Whoa.
That brings us to fall 2011… the evolution continues: I had been noticing a voice asking for a sabbatical, step back and widen the vision towards what was, what is and what is next. Raja began to hear a voice saying there was something waiting for her back in California. Within an hour of her saying it out loud, I said, “Can I come?”
I continued my coaching practice and traveled to California for the winter months to reflect and percolate. To rest and to see. It was really an amazing gift to not have to do anything in particular for months and to see if inspiration could be the guiding movement.
Instincts happen… Have you noticed? For me, it’s a deep and still knowing in the center of the gut. The instinct names itself as a yes or a no. Either way, it’s clear.
Movement or retraction follows, aligning with the instinct. What joins a yes is enthusiasm, inspired action, powerful movements in the instinct’s direction. This is the place where big change occurs effortlessly. I love those moments!
Case in point: during my second winter of bi~coastal living, spending the winter and spring months in southern California on hiatus from Maine’s rugged winter living off the grid. This second round of returning to Cali from Maine, I was inspired toward greater purpose for my outer work out here. I wasn’t sure what it would be specifically, but I knew to go west again.
Then it began to unfold…Raja says to me, while I am half asleep, “What if we open a donation Yoga studio in South Central?” My first thought was “Uh, oh”. When morning came, the idea was still alive and I just began to watch the unfolding and movement in that direction.
I then watched Crips and Bloods: Made in America, and cried through most of it. This was a world that Raja had awareness of, but I did not, until now. There was no turning back once I began to see.
“Open a yoga and meditation center in the inner city.” There is was again. It’s not going away.
We said “yes”.
In the Santa Monica area where we winter, there is a yoga studio practically around every corner. The yoga demographic is, to be blunt: mostly white, mostly female, mostly skinny and mostly upper middle and upper socioeconomic class.
Only 13 miles from there, in South Central LA, another world exists. The population is over 90% black, median age 34, with an above average number of single moms and widows. Catching a yoga class for $18-$24 a pop is probably the last thing on their minds. It is not available. It does not exist there. Yoga and meditation may as well be on another planet. It looks and feels like a segregated island left behind.
I am excited to be a part of this (ad)venture… It feels very expansive for me, even edgy~ from the simple life on the mountain surrounded and 100 year old White Pine and Hemlock. As much as I love those old trees, I told them (or they told me) that it is a big world and I wanted to experience more of it. At least for this season in my life. I cannot think of a more rooted way of doing that than through a new nonprofit foundation aimed to serve and expand the greater consciousness.
Life continues to prove to be one big adventure… with twists and turns that one could never expect or plan on. So here I go, listening to the winds as they pass through the leaves of another kind of tree, following Instinct’s Infinite Intelligence as best as I am able.
I found myself living in both Maine and California, following instinct’s and heart in the movement. My continued work was to find home wherever I be and to keep listening to the voice that rings clear and true.
Thank you, everyone, for all that you show me, teach me and how you support this human, and the expanding mission and the vision of what continues to unfold.
I continued exploring living bi-coastally while leading retreats both in Maine, Mexico, California and Costa Rica… It was a sweet challenge that provided much growth and learning, managing support staff and facilities, both virtually and on site during my extended stays in both Maine and Southern California. I was beginning to feel Maine was more where I needed to be for my soul and life’s work although still feeling very connected to California, Green Tree and the amazing people that I love and appreciate there. Love on both coasts and in between kept me a bit tearful whereever I am.
2014 brings a land mark 15 year anniversary celebration at Nurture Through Nature… I invited the old and the new. We sang, danced, honored, celebrated the amazingness of thriving and evolving over 15 years. To bring the celebration home, expansion and renovation happened to bring the retreat to the next level. Hot showers for all, a brandy new yurt named “Sunset” and the Mt Pleasant Meeting House transformed into a lodge. She started out affectionately called a barn and now she rests as a lodge housing 6 retreaters in beautifully, heart~fully crafted Maine made bunks constructed by Marc McLeod. Marc oversaw the construction of the shower room, the raising of Sunset Yurt and the transformation of the lodge during the winter and spring of 2014, culminating at our 15th year celebration. Grateful. Excited to expand the space to now be ready for other retreat leaders to lead their own magic here on the slopes of Pleasant Mountain with the space and amenities to support.
The Journey Home continues… Having experienced 4 years of bi~coastal living, it worked in many ways and split me in others. It became clear that Maine was to be my homeland again. Yet, my world view is forever expanded and my heart remains open to the social justice movement and not turning away from the world of inequities.
Groups begin to lead retreats here…Brooklyn. Boston. New Hampshire. Portland. Brunswick. Its an honor to meet, greet and support those in the healing arts, yoga, meditation and have an appreciation for earth~friendly practices infused here in the being and doing. Since the anniversary celebration, we hosted 7 retreats and a number of workshops plus my own retreats held here. Its truly become a destination.
Pay attention because the path is filled with surprises…Now back in Maine with my God~Send sister Marie helping me maintain and hold the space sweetly for the many guests that retreat here, it becomes clear to me that I want to distill my focus and life’s work down to simply leading retreats and expanding my holistic life coaching practice. My heart’s desire is to be able to lead these retreats all over the world and to be able to plug into Green Tree Yoga Teacher Training as inspired and called to.
Changing Yoga’s image…Gratefully, I have had the opportunity to teach Yoga Anatomy and Injury at the unprecedented Yoga Teacher Training in the inner city of Los Angeles, organized and inspired by Raja Michelle. Twenty souls went through the training from every walk of life and path. It was an honor to serve and be a part of something so special for so many who otherwise would not have had access to affordable, quality YTT. I have been invited back and this marks my 3rd round.
Prison of the mind…I began volunteering at Maine Correctional Facility, offering mindfulness, meditation and Inquiry~based stress reduction through The Work (that I love). I am very moved by these amazing, resilient, courageous human beings. As I drive home after our time together, I shake my head in awe at them and what they teach me. Their insights, willingness, their open minds and clear eyes model possibility beyond what I have witnessed before. This Work inspires me to want to delve wider and deeper.
Perspective is needed…Living at a retreat center~ the lifestyle here is varied, real, engaging, and deep. I took it upon myself to take a solo sojourn at the end of a very busy summer and fall, seeking perspective and space for reflection as I roll around in the idea of freedom. What is it to be free, truly free? A quest was born. Here is my experience~
I am free~I am free to come and go, be or do, work or play, retreat or come forward. Its all a state of mind, a perspective, moment to moment. I have chosen to offer Marie Deraspe, my beloved sister, a much greater role here, of which she loves. That has freed my up to do what I love. We now have the resources to have a small team of independent support peops and we do our best take good care of them.
Off the grid living requires mindfulness and conservation~
And that’s ok with me. Except all these years the system has been a bit too small to run 4 spaces. So this fall, dear friend supports the installation of increasing our solar powered capacity by 33%. This will relax the shoulders of this solar police officer towards the guests that don’t quite get the mindfulness and conservation peace at this practiced day to day sun dependent level of living.
Speaking of mindfulness, I got thee to a nunnery this year for a 5 day silent retreat with Thich Nhat Hahn’s monks and nuns at Blue Cliff Monastery. I got to dive deep with people who have dedicated their lives to clarity, loving kindness and waking up. It was profound and has inspired me to create more space here for mindfulness and meditation practices on purpose. Now I offer a monthly Day of Mindfulness that leaves me feeling fully charged and peaceful.
I have arrived. I am home. In the here. And in the now.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. May we walk together in peace and truth.